Ballsy Binx

On November 13, it was time for Binx's first official vet appointment and the scheduling of his neuter appointment.
We brought along Binx's stuffed puppy so that he'd knead the dog instead of the vet. He sat perfectly in our black cat carrier only mewing during the car ride. There were no tantrums and fits like what we see from Sparta in the carrier. They quickly brought us back, looking warily at the puppy dog in my hand. Is it for the lady or for the.... cat?!? I could hear their thoughts screaming. The vet technician, a tall male with pulled back brown hair, pulled Binx from the carrier as I set the puppy on the steel gray examination table.
Our big black cat weighs just under 12 pounds!

He loves to sleep on people

Then, another technician came into the room and proceeded to do the feline leukemia test. Thankfully, I wasn't able to see as the guy jabbed and jabbed poor Binx's inner leg unable to get any blood. The vet, a man with a light sandy handlebar mustache, walked in, assessed the situation, then slightly pushed the technician out of the way.
"You have to do it higher up to get any blood," said the vet.
My lips thinned. Had that idiot just been stabbing my cat that entire time because he didn't know what in the world he was doing? Welcome to the medical world of amateurs or old schoolers who refuse to budge from the original practices.
"Have you taken his temperature?" the vet asked.
No, they hadn't. Binx experienced a sensation like never before to reveal a perfect temperature.
Then, the vet came Binx a once over by looking into his eyes, mouth, and ears then patting him down. He pronounced Binx extremely healthy. The vet started feeling Binx's backside.
"Oh wow, he's neutered," said the vet.

Wait.... WHAT??

Inside or outside??

"But, my neutered cat at home doesn't look like that," I stammered, referring to the very noticeable "man parts" under Binx's tail.

"Well, we think he's about 3-years-old," the vet answered. "If he was neutered recently, say in the past few months, then he would still have that. Also, he has a very large head."

"Well," I said to Stuart, "there goes our easy fix on the aggression."

"Aggression?" said the vet.

"Yes, he's completely fine with us," I stated as the vet continued to press into Binx's pelvic region. "But, whenever he comes face-to-face with my other cat, he stalks him like prey or rushes him. He's extremely confrontational!"

"Well, that sounds like he has testosterone in his system," said the vet. "I can feel something small and round on the inside of his legs where testicles could be, but they could also be lymph nodes or fat depositions. I would say that if he's not neutered, then his testicles are up in these tubes that lead down to the scrotum. Or, they never dropped at all, and we would have to operate in his abdominal cavity like a female during a spay surgery."

"What are our options?" we asked.

"You could do nothing and wait for him to spray or go after a female. I don't recommend that," said the vet sternly. "We could take some blood and send it to a lab for testing. See what his testosterone levels are. But, I don't know how much that would cost off the top of my head. You're looking at paying for that and then possibly paying for neutering depending on what the tests show. Then, we can perform surgery here but because we don't know where the testicles are, we would have to do exploratory surgery, which puts you at $70." 

Stuart and I stared at him as he continued to pound Binx's belly with his hands. We were baffled. Confused. Bamboozled. Confounded. Astonished. That was the vaguest information ever given in the history of human and animal medicine.

"Well..." said Stuart.

"Huh," I said.
Another vet was called in to examine Binx as well.  She couldn't find anything either.
"Well, what do you think?" The vet chuckled. "Looking at him, I was expecting to feel some big testicles. But nothing!!"
Stuart and I could only glance at each other with large eyes.
"I guess we're going to have to wait and make a decision," I answered.
"Yep, I'd hate to put the guy through surgery and anesthesia for nothing. To make slits on the inside of his legs and check to see exactly what those hard round lumps are is simple. But, if we have to go into his abdominal cavity, that's invasive surgery. It's something to think about. In the meantime, I'll make some calls and find out what it would cost to do the testosterone tests."
"Thank you," we said and headed out of the office. My beautiful, perfectly healthy, somewhat less masculine Binx had been completely calm, quiet, and perfect through the whole 15-minute ordeal, even during the leukemia shot after all the manhandling. No ripping out the vet's throat. No gloves or towel needed. Not a single peep!
As soon as we got into Stuart's car, we burst into a fit of laughter. What were we going  to do now?? What came to be referred to as The Great Balls Debate on Facebook quickly came to a conclusion!

To be continued...

The Must List, November 10

1. The Cherokee Animal Care Clinic
Cats and dogs run rampant. Children play in the corner of toys or inspect the newly  arriving animals. The building itself is large, spacious, and open. There's no scary smell of vet. The employees are friendly, relaxed, and professional. We took our new cat here to get his rabies vaccination. They took him back and handed him over in less than five minutes. They even gave us his rabies tag --- no tag fee, no mailing it in!! Gaston County, you make things too complicated!! We're staying here, thank you! What a wonderful vet clinic. We were very pleased. Oh, and... $8 shot!! Heck yeah!!

2. Helium balloons
What fun! My puppy birthday balloon is over two weeks old, and it's still floating against the ceiling. The other two, sadly, have passed on! But, that's when the fun part begins. That's when you get to make a small incision in the side of the balloon and suck out all the helium and talk in a squeaky voice. I find myself extremely hilarious when I talk like that.

Starting to die...!

3. Paint your own dishes
I took another trip to Claymates, our local paint-your-own-pottery, last month and decided to spice up my dinner dishes. I painted a plate to look like you're eating your spaghetti or steak or pizza out of a pond with lily pads. I think everyone should paint their own dishes. It's creative and original. If I have kids, I think I'll take them to a paint-your-own-pottery place and have them paint their own dishes. They'll be masterpieces!

My finished plate

4. The Prince of Egypt DVD
I loved this movie as a child, and now, it's just as good but for all different reasons. First of all, Ralph Fiennes as Ramses is just brilliant! He has the perfect voice for animated films. Secondly, no matter what you believe about the story of Moses or if it even happened this is still an amazing film about faith and hope. The songs are beautiful and moving. The animation was unheard of at the time. Look carefully at the plague scene and appreciate the animated magic!

Pharaoh's wife finds Moses

5. Creative clocks
I'm very obsessed with decorating. I wish I had a bigger house just so I can keep decorating. As for this place, I've kind of run out of wall space. However, when I picking out what I needed for my Cullowhee trailer, I realized... "My gosh, I've never had a wall clock! To the Clock Section!!!" AWAY! And there, I found my adorable chef clock. He's perfect with his fork and knife hands, "Good Food Served Here!" phrase on his belly, and the wire outline of the man himself. Aside from being cute and fitting in the kitchen, Stuart gets a kick out of him, too! Yes, clocks are meant to be practical objects of telling time. That doesn't mean you can't have a little fun with it!

6. Leftover Halloween candy
You know you're still eating it... you even bought more now that it is on sale, didn't you? Yeah, admit it!!

What's Going on with Sparta?

Well, that's a good question!! No one really knows.
During the first week of May, Sparta started acting bizarre. He hid under the bed, which he only does if there's a bad thunderstorm or heavy rain. He didn't want to play or be petted. It didn't take me long to see him favoring his back left paw. It was raw-looking, red, and irritated. I was so worried that he had been stung by one of the wasps that get into my trailer or had something stuck in between his toes and foot pad. On a Saturday morning, we rushed to Franklin, North Carolina to the only vet that was willing to see him. It was nearly an hour trip of absolute MISERY!

Back when he still loved me...!

First, Sparta was placed in his cat carrier just in case he injured his foot more from climbing all around the car. The cat carrier was placed in the floor in front of the passenger seat. Barely fifteen minutes into the drive, Sparta started dry heaving. He got car sick unable to see anything and getting tossed about as I took the curves a little too quickly trying to get to the vet on time.
Ten minutes from the vet's office, Sparta decided he really had to go!!! All over his cat carrier and my bath towel, Sparta took a crap and peed. The smell was horrendous, and then the poor cat sat in his own excrement for the remainder of the journey. I couldn't speed to the vet fast enough.
Well, the vet didn't have anything to say for the situation, except to charge me $38. He said it wasn't infected and that there wasn't anything wrong, probably just irritation.

A week later... the foot looked worse than before. We went to a different vet! They gave Sparta a shot, some pills, and some cleaning pads for over $50. Every day, Stuart and I had to hold down a squirming cat to administer half a pill and clean between his toes with a moist pad that turned his foot blue!
But Sparta started getting worse! He wouldn't move, just flop from one spot on the living floor to another. He wouldn't play. He hardly ate anything. All he did was sleep... which is normal for a usual cat, but not Sparta! He was also constantly frustrated and aggravated. If I so much as made a slight contact with his fur, he growled and moved a few steps away so I couldn't touch him. Sparta's the friendliest cat in the world!! He loves people. This behavior was unacceptable.
Back to the vet... We got a $20 bill for them to say, "Oh yeah, his foot looks great. Let's not give him that type of medication again. That must be it. Keep cleaning it, though."
One day later, Sparta was back to his normal self! He was purring, friendly, playing with his toys, and enjoying life again.

Bring your cat to work day

Cue two days ago... He starts throwing up everything that enters his stomach. On a regular basis, Sparta will regurgitate his food because he's dumb and eats his food too fast. Lately, he's been good about not eating too fast too often since we switched from putting his food in a bowl to putting it on a plate. It leaves room for the food to move around, and Sparta is forced to chase it down instead of taking large gulps of kitty kibble. But the other night, he was actually throwing up partially digested food, and no matter what I fed him (Blue Buffalo dry, Friskies canned, Temptations treats) Sparta would throw it up after a 20-minute interval of swallowing. The bizarre thing was that he was still acting like his happy-go-lucky, playful self. Great... now he's got a hairball or something blocking the entrance to his intestines. This behavior continued for over 12 hours, and I called the vet.
That was probably the worst vet trip of all!!! After the anal insertion of the thermometer, which always puts a priceless, horrified face on Sparta, he got a shot to help with nausea that the vet describes as "it stings really bad." I've never seen Sparta react in such a manner!! It took two tries to administer the entire shot because Sparta bucked and hissed so much that they had to try again. When I picked him up after the exam, he nearly tore my face off because I brushed against the sight of the injection. What a miserable kitten! He refused to sit near me for the rest of the day.

Kitty in the sun!

So far... no vomiting since the most expensive vet visit yet. I'm wondering since it was so close together if he's still having adverse reactions to those pills and is trying to purge his system.
Well, here's hoping that will be the last vet trip for awhile. I'm going out of town for a week next week, and I hope that I'm not getting a phone call from Stuart in the middle of the week that says he's rushing Sparta to the vet because he can't stop vomiting. If there's something wrong with my cat, at least let me be present so I can fuss over him and hold him close.
When we got home from the vet, I read to Sparta from a library book about a cat that lived in a library in Spencer, Iowa. Yeah... I know, I know. I read to my cat!! Whatever, haters gonna hate! He also has a brand new kitty bed that is warm and snuggly, which he seems to be enjoying.
Hopefully, this will be the end of the vet. I just want him to be healthy and happy. He's a family member, and no matter the cost, his health is a top priority.

New kitty bed!