Tis the Season

Tis the season to wear more clothes than make-up

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Tis the season for lips and fingertips to be the first to go

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Tis the season for  "There's always tomorrow for dreams to come true" sung by animals

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Tis the season for toys to start marching

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Tis the season for frosty pumpkins, brown grass, fresh evergreens

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Tis the season for cats to destroy Christmas ornaments and puppies to drink the tree water

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Tis the season for ABC Family to run a non-related Harry Potter marathon

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Tis the season for "TOO LATE? Frosty's not gone for good. You see, he was made out of Christmas snow and Christmas snow can never disappear completely."

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Tis the season for "ribbons... tags... packages, boxes, and bags!"

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Tis the season for Who people, talking snowmen, mysterious trains, dancing penguins, and a wacked-out family with too many Christmas lights!

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Tis the season for never leaving home with still wet hair from a shower

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Tis the season for feeling manly and wanting to kill Christmas dinner yourself

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Tis the season for an elderly snowman to teach children about the importance of material goods like silver and gold

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Tis the season for Hocus-Pocus to explain the situation "to Santa, who as you know, speaks fluent rabbit."

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Tis the season for TV stations to re-air random shows' Christmas episodes or specials

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Tis the season for "Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no! We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny *middle name* Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white *split cheeks* down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of *Who people* this side of the nuthouse!"

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Tis the season for showing love to your family through screaming, punching, gossip, and poisoning the ham!

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Tis the season for forgotten actors to "reboost" their career with an original, stereotypical TV Christmas film

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Tis the season for Santa to give up cookies for a bit to drink Coca Cola!

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Tis the season for weather cold enough for snow but no actual snow

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Tis the season for Christmas!