You'll Never Know Dear

Continued from My Only Sunshine...

Stuart did come over that night. He was tired and no longer in his beautiful tuxedo. I shook from nerves. We sat for a long while at the dining table in the kitchen. Eventually, Ma would arrive after deciding it would be best if I wasn't alone that night.
Stuart and I hashed out our issues, discussed solutions, and I made promises. I knew the hardships of our relationship laid heavily with me. My lacking ability of communication was a major downfall. For so long, I haven't needed this level of communication. I'd never had a relationship last more than a month. I learned from my father that it was ok to walk away in the middle of the conversation. I learned from my mom that it was ok to sweep conflicts under a rug and walk around them. It's what my family did. Is that the right way to do things? No, not really, but it's how we functioned. Now, I'm learned to speak my mind, make my wants and needs known, and not to clam up when there's a disagreement. It's a slow process, but I'm doing better at it than my other adjustment.

My diet must change. I'm killing myself the way I eat. Now, I'm feasting on apples, potatoes, rice, whole grain bread, organic cereals, organic crackers, and other fresh produce on a regular basis. Thanksgiving and the end of the semester has caused me to take a step back from my progress, but I still drink as much water and any fluid really as possible. I find it ironic that it was after my major diet change that I became legitimately sick for the first time since last winter. I may have bronchitis... but I've stopped having so many headaches, I've stopped feeling lethargic all day. I'm feeling better about myself and the choices I'm making. It's a major improvement, but I slip up on a regular basis. I will never give up my candy!!! NEVER!
Stuart and I are back together. We were apart for 24 horrible hours. And, it's not bad. It's not we-broke-up-and-it's-all-awkward-now. No, in fact, I'd say it's better than it was in the last few months before the break-up. We're getting through it like any other young adult couple who is in a long distance relationship, one with a full-time job and the other a full-time student about to take on a part-time job.
Yeah, it's like that!