Heart of Worship

I'm rather shy of this topic because Christianity has a tainted view in today's world. People look at the Bible thumpers and the haters who beat up gays and pregnant women walking into an abortion clinic. They don't look at and respect the Christian who doesn't preach and force their religion on someone else. And so, I've kept my mouth shut...

But today, I was listening to the podcast of Reverend Spargo at Bethlehem Baptist in Gastonia where I used to attend church in high school. And, I've realized I've made a huge mistake in my life in forgetting where I once was in my walk of faith. Finally, things are starting to come together, and I have so many blessings in my life. While that's been going on, I've been ignoring the one whose given me all of those blessings. I've put God on the back burner. Yeah, I read my Bible every night without fail, but it's only a quick passage and usually I'm not focused on what it's talking about. I read it to say that I read it, but that needs to change... now!
I'm tired of making compromises and quietly standing by letting my faith go unnoticed. It's definitely time to change.
As the sermon was coming to a close, I renewed my vows to God. I asked Him to help me change, force me to change, and I want to strengthen my relationship with Him. I want to pray like I mean it and not when it conveniences me or when I need something. I need to build a relationship with Him because we're not just talking about an amazing creator who has greatly blessed my life; we're talking about how to spend eternity.
But, I'm not just doing this because I'm scared of what happens after death... I actually want this, and I think I'm finally old enough now to understand it better.

Now, comes the difficult part. I don't know how Stuart is going to react to this. On several occasions, we've hit a brick wall when it comes to discussing my faith. He's agnostic, and I'm not educated enough on the topic to answer the questions he has about my faith other than to say over and over, "It's what I believe." I wish that were enough for him, but I know I'm not going to change him, and even if I ask nicely, he doesn't want to try out a church service. That may sound like I'm "forcing my religion" on him, but if you ask him, he'll tell you that I rarely ask. I just hope this change doesn't drive a wedge between us.
Now, I must ask for your help because I can't do it alone, and I can't do it without earthly support. I need someone to chastise me for cursing and encourage me to get up Sunday morning for church. Podcasts are great, but you can't get the right kind of fellowship by sitting alone on your bed listening to a podcast.
I've made a lot of decisions in my life that I've either not carried through or gone back on. I'll change for 24 hours then forget or not feel like continuing anymore the next morning. This has to be different!! This has to be real, and I mean it.
So before you all, this is me saying I am a Christian, and I'm going to live my life that way. And if I lose a few of you along the way because that's just not what you're into then I'm sorry... I hope someone else helps you find your way back to the right path.

God has Left Hollywood

JC didn’t know the situation he was getting himself into when he picked up a satellite cable box for my TV a few days before the broadcast of the 69^th Annual Golden Globe Awards. I am a huge fan of movies, Hollywood, celebrities, and the awards season!! I look forward to the Golden Globes, People’s Choice, Screen Actor’s Guild, and the Academy Awards like I look forward to Christmas! Tis the best, most glamorous season of the year!!

Starting at 5 p.m., JC and I settled in to watch first the pre-red carpet segment where three fashionistas commented on who they believed would dress the best, then two hours of red carpet interviews and fashion, then the three-hour award show! I felt sorry for Justin who had to listen to me say “That dress is ugly!,” “Ohmigosh! Why is she wearing that?”, and “OMG! I LOVE HER DRESS!” about thirty times as celebrity after celebrity filed onto the red carpet. He patiently listened… or appeared to listen to me ramble on and on about red carpet fashion, who was who, who was dating who, and why they were nominated. Really, he was just waiting for the chicken thighs I was baking to hurry up and be ready to eat.

Two things I noticed about this year’s red carpet:

1.       1. Only three or four couples made an appearance together. Many celebrities were man-less or chick-less.

2.       2. WHAT THE HECK WAS GOING ON WITH THE DRESSES???!! They were downright ugly this year. Mila and Emma took the win in fashion for sure.

Then it was time for the actual awards ceremony. Out came the rum and Coke. Unable to watch football, Justin kept me entertained as I created a drinking game for him. One must drink when:

1.    A celebrity thanked the “amazing talent” in his or her category that they just smoked them in
2.   A celebrity was cut off by the music because they rambled on too long
3.  A celebrity thanked God

Quite often, Justin had to drink because the music cut off a star, like Kate Winslet who always goes over. One thing we noticed, however, was that no one wanted to thank God this year! We waited two hours and 45 minutes before Meryl Streep, God bless her, got up on the stage for her Best Actress award for The Iron Lady and thanked the good Lord upstairs.. sort of! It was actually a joke, but JC drank anyway! Meryl refers to one of the members of the audience as God, but at least there was some mention of religion somewhere. Ms. Streep also took home the prize of Best Speech and The 3-in-1 Drinking Award, bestowed to her by JC and me, as she thanked a type of god and thanked not only the other females in her category but every woman who was nominated in all the categories, and she ran out of time after stumbling through her speech because she left her glasses at her seat and couldn’t read what she wrote!!!

Congratulations, Meryl Streep!! You not only know how to give an amazing performance on the silver screen, you can also give one heck of a speech!!

“Why don’t you make a film our daughter can see for once?’” — Martin Scorsese, accepting best director for “Hugo,” referring to how his wife, Helen, urged him to make a children’s movie.

56. Longing

Book 56: Longing by Karen Kingsbury (A)

Hooray!! I'm so excited for the character development in this next novel of the Bailey Flanigan series!!! Bailey, Cody, and Brandon Paul are back for the continuation of their complicated young lives. Bailey's Broadway musical run is in trouble because audience members no longer want to watch Hairspray. She also is still dealing with conflicting feelings about Cody when she's dating Brandon. Brandon is completely in love with Bailey and will do everything in his power to convince her that she deserves more than the runaway-when-things-get-scary Cody. In fact, he wants to propose...soon! And, Cody has realized he's truly in love with Bailey and is about to break-up with his new girlfriend Cheyenne when she is diagnosed with brain cancer and needs all the love and support she can get. It's a Christian soap opera, folks!!!
I am all about Team Brandon!! I used to root for Cody all through the Above the Line series and into the new Bailey series, but now I'm done with that boy. He had his chance! Now, leave Bailey alone! I want her to be with Brandon, and he's doing a great job of keeping her with him!
Once again, Kingsbury does an amazing job of making these characters relate-able. My favorite scene is the one between Bailey and one of her Hairspray cast mates in the Starbucks. The transformation of the cast mate from when you first meet him in Leaving is worth getting teary eyed! That scene alone is worth reading the novel.

46. Skin

Book 46: Skin by Rick Jasper (B-)

I was impressed by this short novel until the end. The ending ruined it all - it was anti-climatic, abrupt, and didn't fit the anticipation of the story.
High schooler Nick Barry has always been invisible... until the worst case of acne hits his face. Along with the oozing pimples, Nick experiences cold chills that freeze his bones, horrible nightmares of fire and death, and strange symbols etched on his chest. Strange occurrences spread across the small town like the priest's house catching on fire and a bully from school is viciously attacked in his bedroom. The police believe Nick is the culprit. With the help from a doctor, a nun, the crazy Catholic neighbor, and a librarian, Nick begins putting the pieces together and realizes his body is host to a demon!
Sounds exciting, right? And it was... but then the author just wrapped up the book with a not-so-exciting paragraph or two. I did enjoy the historical and fantastical explanation and theory of Nick's demon, but the ultimate defeat was disappointing.

41. Passion

Book 41: Passion by Lauren Kate (A-)

This is the third book in the Fallen series, and I was slightly disappointed by it. It had the same vibe and carried true to the mood of the first two Fallen books, but this one was so repetitive.

Paul Bettany in the film Legion

Lucinda Price has pieced together from books one and two that her life and the ones before that are part of a never-ending curse. Her lover, Daniel, is a fallen angel who finds her life after life when she reincarnates to the appropriate ages, pursues her love, then she dies in a fiery explosion during the age of 17. It has a Twilight ring to it with the way their love is endless, desperate, and slightly scary. But Luce is no Bella Swan. In Passion, she questions this love she feels for Daniel and the love Daniel has for her. Is it real? Is she being manipulated? Is Daniel's love for the current Lucinda a new love or the returning love from a Lucinda of the past? With the help of a mystical figure in the physical form of a stone gargoyle, Luce travels through "Announcers" to several of her past lives to unlock the key to the curse and find out how to change it. Daniel, in the meantime, pursues her always a minute too late and recollects old memories, old conversations, and pieces together his own puzzle. At the end, they meet in at the beginning - the fall of Lucifer.
The ending was really the clincher for this novel. The description and thought put into Lucifer's Fall and the world of Heaven was beautiful and breathtaking. The beginning worked well too. But the middle... it was slow and repetitious. Chapter after chapter, the reader visits the past life of Luce and it's like the one you just read about. The gargoyle Bill steals her clothes that match the time period, she searches for her former self, she finds her former self, she finds the Daniel of the time, and tries to figure out what's going on. The only thing that really changes is where they are: Versailles, the Globe Theater, ancient Egypt...
The only breather between Luce's lives was Daniel's chapters, but they were also the same. Still, Daniel is a much more interesting character to a 20-year-old girl like me who loves true romance and an ultimate romantic hero. And, he's a beautiful, pure angel to top it off! In Daniel's chapters, his character deepens past the worried lover of Luce's who refuses to explain anything. You learn about the pain he goes through with each of Luce's deaths and how his relationship with supporting character and dark angel Cam became so tense.
Though Passion wasn't what I had hoped, I'm so happy some answers finally appeared. With the dark twist of an ending, I'm bouncing off the walls for the fourth and final novel, Rapture! It's coming out in 2012, and I can't wait!

29. Leaving

Book 29: Leaving from The Bailey Flanigan Series by Karen Kingsbury (B+)

This was a tough book to get through... mostly because in three days, Stuart and I are starting our long distance relationship again! It's tearing me up inside.
This book is a continuation of the Take One series also by Kingsbury but focusing on the Flanigan and Baxter families from the original series. Bailey Flanigan, aspiring Broadway actress, is planning for her future in New York City and how it will be leaving her large family who has always been there for her. Meanwhile, the love of her life Cody Coleman is hiding away from her because of his mom's recent jail stint, her ex's death threats against him and anyone near him, and the torment of being an ex-soldier in the Iraqi war. He's a dude with deep issues and he believes Bailey shouldn't have to deal with them.
The book is a religious one, extremely Christian. Often I find it hard to read because I find it unrealistic that so many characters pray that often and about everything. While being a Christian myself, I find it hard to relate to them because their personal bonds with Christ seem overly sold and commercialized. One of the best books I've read by Kingsbury was book 3 of the Take One series where several of the characters lose their way and find themselves lost in dark pits of despair and anguish. After many trial and errors, they find their way back to God and back to the lives they led before their mistakes. Still, I can never put down a Kingsbury book, especially one with such a delightful character as Bailey. Up next in the series is Learning.

Bath Tub Thought

Recently, I watched the latest installment of the Chronicles of Narnia film series, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. And, it was ok... I haven't been a huge fan of any of the CON films. I think it's mostly because when I first saw Aslan... he was a CGI character. MAJOR DISAPPOINTMENT! I wanted Aslan to be a real lion with CGI modifications. Nothing disappointed me more than seeing the great lion - that is supposed to be Jesus in the fantasy novel series that depicts a make believe world meant to represent Christianity - as a CGI creation!!

He even looks sad that he's CGI

Anyway... I was thinking about the final scene (SPOILERS AHEAD) and have put two and two together:
Lucy and Edmund are the only of the original four children together. They are joined by Eustace, their obnoxious, bratty cousin. At the end of the movie, Eustace has been returned to his original form after being transformed into a dragon. Now, the three are in Aslan's country with the great CGI lion who reveals to Lucy and Edmund this is their last trip to Narnia. It's a little heartbreaking scene as the two come to say good bye to the world they love.
Then Eustace asks, "What about me?"
To which Aslan responds something along the lines of he may one day be called back to Narnia.

And this is why you can't get rid of Barnes.
Look at him!!

...Now, I don't know if this line is in the book, but I figured that even if it was, this line is an "out" for the producers, directors, and studio heads. In case, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader didn't do too well at the box office, well then the capitalized, collective They could say that Eustace wasn't called back to Narnia and there won't be any more CON films. Aslan has always been a cryptic character. Why not give him a line that hints but doesn't promise another sequel? Face saved! And of course since it seems that the characters Lucy and Edmund won't be returning then it also means we're having a sequel because audiences actually liked Eustace and only if we can get Liam Neeson and Ben Barnes back because the story just ousted the cute mouse!!
In case you're wondering, it seems that Eustace is returning... or at least the CON series is with The Silver Chair being released in 2014 and The Magician's Nephew hopefully hitting theaters in 2015. Of course, it has yet to be announced which actors will star in the films. Will the original four return? Will Eustace? Personally, I never got further through the books than the first one. And that was forced upon me by 9th grade English. There's something about the most popular magical fantasy books that I just can't get into. I think it's because there's too much magical detail. I just like the movies better! This includes: The Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, and all the Marvel stories (the ones that I liked). Passed over the books and I don't like comic books! Go figure!.
And all of this occurred while taking a bath!

May 21st

So it's all over the news that tomorrow, May 21st, is the official Christian Rapture. According to a man and his followers (who predicted once before then said their calculations were wrong), the Rapture is tomorrow due to Biblical calculations and number crunching. For someone like me, a Baptist and true believer, I find the whole thing to have lots of holes and just another frenzy of trying to predict what we do not know and what frightens us. If you've read Matthew 26:42-44, then you're in the know. Still, the craze and the hubbub over the whole thing, like December 2012, is a bit daunting and freaky! As soon as I heard about it on Facebook, I immediately hit Google News and looked up different news feeds of where this information was coming from. One website I found was quite a catch. It had 21 reasons why it couldn't be the end, including "they haven't made a movie about this date yet" and "the iPhone 5 hasn't been released yet."
While I believe the prophesy that us Christians are going to be taken tomorrow at sunset is a hoax, I sat in Raleigh wondering what would I want to be doing if it was actually the end. I sat there on Morgan's couch watching another epsisode of "Brothers & Sisters" on NetFlix and thinking... this can't seriously be how I spend "my last day on earth!!!"
So I texted my mom and told her I'd be down in Charlotte in about four hours. And now here I am... where I grew up, the home that is the love of my life, with my family and the cat I never get to see, going to lay out in the sun tomorrow and go swimming. It's where I want to be.
Now, don't get too flustered or concerned about Morgan. I didn't choose my family over him. Tomorrow, Morgan will be spending his "last day" working a 16 HOUR shift at The Angus Barn!!! Even if I had wanted to spend my hypothetical last day with him, he wouldn't have been available to hug. I would have been watching more NetFlix at his apartment bored out of my mind while he raked in the overtime pay. While I want to be with him, no, I'd rather be here surrounded by my family.
The trip down here has already been worth it. While driving on I-85 near the Concord exit, the sky lit up with white light. At first, I thought it was lightning and I was going to be driving through a storm. But no! As I rounded the bend, fireworks lit up the night sky while Adam Lambert sang "Come Home", a song about a woman singing to her husband in the army to come back to her, on my iPod. Reds, blues, greens, yellows, and purples took up the majority of my windshield as my speed slowly drifted and slowed to catch as much of the show as I could. Even if the rest of this trip is a complete bomb, at least I got that beautiful surprise!!
So what do you think? Do you think your religious family members or you yourself will be taken in the Rapture tomorrow?

But more importantly.... what do you want your "last day" to be like????

Kodak Moment: Photo of the Day March 14

This was taken right before I headed off to church... an Episcopal church. That was an eye-opening experience!!! Everyone was super sweet though!! But as a child Presbyterian and a teenager/young adult contemporary Baptist... I was so out of my religious league! I wore Morgan's shirt for courage!