April Always Gets Me

It's that time in the semester where I literally waste before your very eyes. It's like a magic trick except there's nothing magical about it. It's that part of April where I'm so stressed and so busy that I get sick and hardly eat anything and just run off of fumes until after exams.
I was waiting for the bus this morning - I take the off campus transit bus now because gas prices are too high and I have to save every mile for trips to Raleigh - and thinking about last summer. In fact, I've been thinking a lot about last year because I had a run-in with not only The Viking but also the girl he left me for... twice (twice as in we ran into each other twice... though now that I think about it, he did technically leave me for her her twice.). We passed each other as they entered and then we left the Courtyard Dining Hall, and the whole ordeal really shook me up since I haven't seen either of them in over a month, and I had prayed that I would be lucky enough to miss them across campus for the rest of the year. Lady Luck just wouldn't have it.

Anyway, last summer I arrived back in Mt. Holly pale, pasty, beyond thin, and exhausted beyond belief. I do believe I spent the first week or so of my summer sleeping constantly, zoning out with my iPod's ear buds crammed down my ear canal, or watching the television screen flicker away until the family came home from school. Then, I'd retreat to my room for more sleep. I was a walking zombie, broken and completely at a lost with how to cope with what happened freshman year and how I was going to handle sophomore year in three months.

Then as the big rumbling bus picked me up at the stairs that lead to the lower parking lot of my apartment complex, I walked on and took a seat in the middle to watch the scenery float past as we barreled down the insane hill of a driveway and out onto Highway 107 for drop off/pick up students from the University Peaks. The leaves have been flourishing on trees only now for the silky white nests of newly born caterpillars to devour them. I remember every spring going out in the yard after school with Kate and running around scooping up caterpillars and putting them in boxes. We'd give them names and treat them like pets until we either accidentally killed them or they spun themselves into a bushy coccoon where we'd then become bored and forget the boxes. The next spring, we'd do the exact same thing.

As I'm bogged down by my long distance relationship, which has now been made harder by not being able to talk on the phone beofre 7 p.m. because of no free minutes (and guess what time Morgan has to go to work!) and recently the loss of Skype by my laptop being infected again, along with papers and final exams, I wish more than anything to romp about the backyard with Kate chasing after caterpillars. The desire to be childlike overcomes the guilt of murdering innocent caterpillars.

The bus rolls up another insane hill that is the Peaks' driveway. I feel that as soon as the driver lets go of the brake we'll plummet backward down the hill with no way to stop then crash and flip upside down in a terrific and horrible explosion that my boss will write about in The Western Carolinian. But we don't. The bus continues on past the endless giant brick that is The Peaks Apartments and down a small drive to campus where our reflection oozes across the tinted mirros of the Ramsey Center.
Campus has changed since spring began. Students exist again. They're not just rushing to class. They're ambling along the new UC lawn and fountain. They're gathered on the banks of Cullowhee Creek in bikinis and shorts sunning themselves with a laptop on a blanket. They're walking dogs along the Intramural Fields track and playing Ultimate Frisbee. It actually makes me not want to transfer to UNC Greensboro. However, I know this is all a short happiness. This scene only lasts the last and first month of school. You'd never see this from September to March... unless it's snowing, and that's a different scene entirely.
I wonder how long my exhaustion will last after final exams. If I ever get a job in Raleigh (please anyone call me for an interview), it's doubtful I'd get my week of sleeping and utter laziness like last summer. Since recently I've been experiencing harsh headaches and nausea again, I've been wondering if I ever completely got over my mono last semester. My body tells me, "NOPE!"

And so April goes on... I leave for Raleigh on Wednesday and then to Charlotte to be with my family for Easter. I've been away from Charlotte for too long! I plan on sitting outside all weekend long and soaking up Gaston County air! I can't think of a better way to spend my time...! Please, I pray, no rain!! Knowing Lady Luck... it's gonna rain..............cripes!