Happiness isn't Normal

Finals are over!!!

And, I didn't come out at the end of it sick, ten pounds lighter, and about to throw myself out a window... which is saying something considering I was not only writing three papers and working on a web design portfolio and resume, but I also had the newspaper on my plate. I guess it helps that I'm genuinely happier with my life and where I am right now.

Cata-fount

Now that finals are over, I can turn my complete attention to the newspaper. This week started the writing and interviewing process for the May issue, which hits the stands on May 25. I can't say what we're working on... it's top secret!! But, I will say that Sparta is here in the office today. He's hiding under my enormous desk that has been here since the dinosaurs roamed the earth!
This spring semester... I can tell you there's been a lot of stress and tears. A lot of it I can't talk about because it's newspaper drama, and we don't like to air that out in the public eye. But even with all that stress, I've been happy... and that's never happened before.

There were only a few days out the semester that I woke up and was extremely depressed throughout the entire day. If you've known me since August 2009, that's an extremely low number. I have been battling depression since being a freshman at Western, and we all found out that moving to Greensboro didn't help that one bit! Back at Western, I'm here with a billion things to do and several crises to solve with Sparta sick, issues with the landlord, and worrying about the paper... but I'm happy.
It's so bizarre.
And, it's sad that it is bizarre. Why is happiness weird now? When did I get used to not being happy? When did depression and misery become part of my life that being happy and getting up every morning looking forward to the day was not normal anymore?

Looking back, I don't remember thinking that I'd always be miserable. Then, why am I surprised that I'm happy? Nothing has changed really. Stuart may be here instead of five hours away, but we still have problems and strife in our relationship that needs to be repaired now and again. My living situation is better on some levels but worse on others. And, I cannot even begin to describe the pain, tears, stress, pressure, and worry that comes with being an Editor-in-Chief of a newspaper (and it's not even a weekly or daily newspaper!!!!!!)
Maybe I'm happier because I drink more fluids a day. That's probably what Stuart will say it is. Maybe it's because I've stopped skipping meals because I either couldn't afford to buy food or because I was too sick and tired already to even stand up to throw something in the microwave. Maybe it's because I no longer feel threatened by The Viking anymore, and that we've actually become friends again and text on a semi-regular basis.
Whatever it is... I'm happy it made me happy! I am ready to learn how to manage my stress and keep living a happy, healthy life. So bring on the summer... I'm happy it's here!

Sparta is my snuggle buddy!