Kodak Moment: Christmas So Far

It has been a busy, crazy Christmas... and it's not over yet! Tomorrow, Morgan and I visit my mom's side of the family. All of that will come later... right now it's time for a Kodak Moment. So, everyone get together and smile BIG!



Beer at The String Bean



I pass this sign on the way to Charlotte



Remington



I won the Pretty Pretty Princess game



I got canned pumpkin for Christmas!



Something fuzzy at Piccolo's

Wedge salad at Old Stone

I have become obsessed with puzzles



This just made me laugh!



I am Jack's Broken Heart

I can't describe this feeling. It's somewhere between wanting to throw up and being held down by a 2 ton weight.
Today, Morgan moved out of the apartment we have been sharing for nearly three months to start his life in Raleigh. And, I have been left behind.

I feel so empty, so lost. I keep waiting on him to come through the door with Bojangles biscuits or emerge from the bathroom with his cropped hair dark and wet, shirtless telling me about how McDonald's makes their chicken nuggets and what gun my favorite movie character is using during an action scene while I'm watching TV. But he's not here...

Instead, I'm locked up in my room unable to leave because my roommate (who is not even here) promised his room to two old friends of his. And, they have taken over the apartment, bringing in guests of their own. I don't even know these people! Never met them before in my life.

I have been sitting in my room since he left. I tried to start working on a 100-piece jigsaw puzzle of a humpback whale leaping into the sky while fish, two dolphins, and a shark swim around its tail still in the waves. I couldn't concentrate on it enough to even finish all the edge pieces. I have been playing movies nonstop on the television, films that deal with lovers having to be separated but having just enough action that I don't cry through the whole thing, such as The Constant Gardener and Underworld: Rise of the Lycans. I will cry then lull myself into silence then stare for a long time then begin crying again. Sparta comes in and out of the bedroom obviously finding the new people in the house more entertaining and interesting than the owner he sees every day. Other than him, I am alone, so terribly and scarily alone. Nothing and nobody can part me from Morgan's pillow, which he left behind for me. I feel the weight of the dogs tags I custom made around my neck, a pair for him and a pair for me, as his birthday present. One tag has my name and information, the other his. They are identical, except for the color of the silencers. Earlier, I ate the remainder of the brownies we had baked together... a large yet unsatisfying portion in a round metal pan. I nibbled on a peanut butter sandwich and went through some flavored Tootsie Rolls, but have not yet found an appetite.

Our perfect Christmas is over. Since Saturday after Morgan's graduation, we have had the apartment to ourselves with my roommates either gone home for the holidays or at work an hour away. One day we went to the WNC Nature Center, walking around a track to see gray wolves, coyotes, bobcats, a petting zoo, and other various North Carolina mountain critters. In the evenings, we shared popcorn and watched whatever was playing on ABC Family's "25 Days of Christmas." In the mornings, we slept in, curled into each other before making a hot breakfast like pancakes and/or scrambled eggs. Sometimes, we would get Bojangles for dinner or Japanese. One night I cooked spaghetti. One night Stuart made hamburgers, which unfortunately I missed out on as I was suffering from nausea from my bout of acute mono.

Yesterday morning we pretended it was Christmas morning. I woke Morgan from sleep by jumping on the bed yelling that Santa had come and we needed to open presents immediately! After an hour of his grumbling and delaying, we, including Sparta, made it out into the living room. Morgan opened his gift of a book he'd been dying to read from me. I got super warm mittens from him. Afterwards, we had hot pancakes and eggs while watching survival shows on Discovery Channel and "Spartacus: Blood and Sand."

We ruled the apartment together. It was the greatest five days of my entire 2010 year. I've never been so happy! Not since before The Viking and my parents' divorce. It was the greatest Christmas gift anyone has ever given me. It was better than any white Christmas.

Now, Morgan is gone. After he left, I took down our little Christmas tree by myself putting our Dollar Tree ornaments into a keepsake box and throwing the stub of a tree into the woods outside the apartment. It was discouraging and heartbreaking. We had kept the tree lit nearly every night since putting it up after Thanksgiving. Now, it is lying outside in the cold waiting to decay.
Soon, I will see Morgan again when we reunite to spend more of the holidays together. However, our life together at the apartment is over. It's very likely he won't be back here again thanks to his full-time job starting in January. And as Morgan pointed out to me a week ago, we don't know when we'll be living with or even near each other again. The dog tags we share say "212" on the last line; it's how long from January 1st to the day my apartment lease runs out and I am free to move as close to him as I want.

What we shared was a week of pure happiness. Now, we must continue on with life. ...But I don't know how. I feel like I've lost my home.

Congratulations Baby

I have just returned from the 2010 fall Western Carolina University graduation. There, I saw my boyfriend graduate college from my seat in section K in the Ramsey Center. His mom and I snapped pictures nonstop as we watched him walk into the Center, sit, stand, walk up the ramp, and receive his diploma... well, the empty diploma holder as we wait for his final grades to come in.
In review:
The Chancellor gave a depressing speech about how the economy sucks.
The temperature outside dropped about 20 degrees while the temperature inside rose about 20 degrees by the time the ceremony ended.
The ceremony itself was relatively short and I was elated about that.
Morgan looked adorable in his cap and gown!
We returned to the apartment after saying good bye to Morgan's parents and brother to find CC holding out a beer for Morgan. Cheers!
We are finally both done with our scholastic responsibilities, me for the semester and him forever. Now, CC is moving out and with everyone else gone, we are going to enjoy the apartment together for nearly a week before we split for Christmas.

* * *

Congratulations, baby!! I wish I had been there all those years and seen you progress and grow wiser. I'm so proud of you!!

Another Semester Down

Ice is on the driveway. Final grades are being emailed in (3 A's so far!). The C-Store has been cleaned out! It's that time of year again: the end of another semester.
The end between the spring and winter semesters is starkly different. In the spring, you will NOT find food in the C-store. Points on Cat Cards do not roll over from the spring to winter semester but they do roll over from winter to spring. Thus, everyone who hates Western Carolina U runs to the C-Store or their favorite dining hall to burn all their points or otherwise it becomes money for our horrible football team!

At the end of the winter semester, everyone is clogging up Highway 107 trying to get out of the valley before the roads ice over (even further) or it snows (even more!). It is important to get out as fast, as soon, and as stressful as possible.

In the winter semester, everyone is sick. End of argument.

In the spring semester, the parents stick around longer. It's nice and sunny outside. The trees have regained their leaves. The flowers have bloomed. Campus is alive. In the spring, parents make early river rafting reservations, enjoy the town, and go hiking. In winter, it is dead, freezing cold, iced over, depressing, and... unappealing. The only appeal in winter is the plentiful Christmas tree farms in every corner. 

This winter semester is different for me. I have an apartment. I'm not trying to pack everything in my dorm to return home to a real bed, real food, and a real home. I have that now here in Cullowhee. I have my Charlie Brown Christmas tree, my warm bed, my wacko cat Sparta, and Morgan (who will soon be packing up his things and moving back to his hometown to start adult life). I didn't escape and run out of Cullowhee as soon as my last exam was over with... which was 1:30 today which would have sucked if I did still live in the dorm. No, I am staying here for awhile.

I'm going to see my baby graduate tomorrow!!
We're going back to Nick & Nate's for pizza!
We'll probably go to Waffle House another few times.
We're going to recreate our own Christmas!
We're going to cherish our last days together at the apartment and try not to shed any more tears.
Only one thing stands in our way..... MONO!

To be continued....



Sparta out in the snow



Kodak Moment: Random Things

Emerson quote in the kitchen





Cody's dino drawn by a burnt stick

Gutted house in Cullowhee

Giraffe at Mountain Heritage Day

One Wish for the List

Dear Santa Claus,

 Hi! It's me again. I know I haven't written in a few years. Sorry about that. I kind of let Anne and Kate take over the letter writing for me. But this year, there's something I want more than anything.

It's not something Father or Ma can buy in a store. I know that most of my presents come from Wal-Mart, Target, and Amazon.com but you do the very special ones... like finding Sparta so we could take him home (though that was a few months early) and Kate (she came late). This wish is something that cannot be built by the elves. This wish is going to take all of your personal magical talents.

You see it's my boyfriend. He graduates next week and soon, he'll be moving five hours away from me to start his new adult life. But I have to stay behind and continue going to college. But the thing is, Santa... I really love him. And I don't want to say good bye.

So if there's one gift I could get this year, I'd like to keep my boyfriend here in Cullowhee.

Could you do that, Santa? I've tried my best to be a really good girl. I know I've made some horrible mistakes and slipped up now and then but he's really important to me. It would be the worst Christmas ever if I had to say good bye to him afterwards.

So if you could just sprinkle a little magic over us... I think that'll do the trick. Thanks, Santa! Give my regards to Mrs. Claus. I know she's glad you only have to go far away one night a year. Merry Christmas!

Love,

 Lex

Tis the Season

Tis the season to wear more clothes than make-up

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Tis the season for lips and fingertips to be the first to go

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Tis the season for  "There's always tomorrow for dreams to come true" sung by animals

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Tis the season for toys to start marching

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Tis the season for frosty pumpkins, brown grass, fresh evergreens

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Tis the season for cats to destroy Christmas ornaments and puppies to drink the tree water

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Tis the season for ABC Family to run a non-related Harry Potter marathon

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Tis the season for "TOO LATE? Frosty's not gone for good. You see, he was made out of Christmas snow and Christmas snow can never disappear completely."

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Tis the season for "ribbons... tags... packages, boxes, and bags!"

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Tis the season for Who people, talking snowmen, mysterious trains, dancing penguins, and a wacked-out family with too many Christmas lights!

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Tis the season for never leaving home with still wet hair from a shower

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Tis the season for feeling manly and wanting to kill Christmas dinner yourself

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Tis the season for an elderly snowman to teach children about the importance of material goods like silver and gold

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Tis the season for Hocus-Pocus to explain the situation "to Santa, who as you know, speaks fluent rabbit."

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Tis the season for TV stations to re-air random shows' Christmas episodes or specials

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Tis the season for "Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no! We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny *middle name* Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white *split cheeks* down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of *Who people* this side of the nuthouse!"

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Tis the season for showing love to your family through screaming, punching, gossip, and poisoning the ham!

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Tis the season for forgotten actors to "reboost" their career with an original, stereotypical TV Christmas film

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Tis the season for Santa to give up cookies for a bit to drink Coca Cola!

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Tis the season for weather cold enough for snow but no actual snow

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Tis the season for Christmas!



For the Record

I want this on record!!!!

Chris and I have made a bet. I don't know if he was serious, but I was.

Chris has made a verbal statement that he is the kind of guy who marries as soon as he gets out of college. And, I can see him doing that, too. Chris is an undercover romantic. He wants to be the person to ask a girl out instead of the girl asking him out. He doesn't believe in dating around. He practices abstinence. He is a true gentleman. And, I can see him in two years graduating with his diploma on a Saturday and getting married to his college sweetheart on the next Friday. And I'll be there for both of them!

So here's what I wager.... if Chris marries three months at most after graduating college with his bachelor's degree and stays with this girl for at least five years... I will buy him a wedding gift over $300 at the end of that five years. (Originally, I said over $100 but he said, "Well I expect you to do that anyway!" So I'm upping my bid!)

If Chris doesn't... well then he's out of a bride and a $300 gift. If I win, well... I've got $300 more in my bank account and a best friend who isn't too busy to hang out with me because he's busy with his new bride! Also, if I lose... well I don't really lose. I get to see my best friend happier than ever married to the love his life just like he said he would be. Either way... Win!!

The Perfect Day

All Thanksgiving Break Morgan and I have been looking forward to this Sunday! And it was well worth the wait!
After spending barely two days in Charlotte, Morgan and I spent an hour or so at the Charlotte-Douglas airport overlook with Kate and her boyfriend before hitting the road for home. In separate cars, we tagged alongside each other, keeping time and waving at each other ridiculously whenever we passed each other. The trip was easy and fun. The stresses of the holidays were left behind us on the road, and we flew along I-40 with one thing in mind: sleep! Arriving at home, we unloaded the cars and relaxed in each other's arms before I fell half asleep in bed while Morgan typed up part of his 7-page paper due in two days.

We woke up for our anticipated day together at the ungodly hour of 7 a.m. thanks to Sparta's incessant wailing! His wailing turned into batting at my hands with his claws out when I refused to answer. Eventually, Morgan and I were up without a choice and making fluffy, warm pancakes in the kitchen with Sparta tearing through the apartment with the never-ending energy only he and a four-year-old possess.
After pancakes, Morgan and I decided it was time for some cleaning. The apartment has been a mess for weeks! No one has had time or everyone is just too lazy to participate in some housecleaning and organizing. Morgan got the kitchen; I was assigned the living room. While Morgan tackled the mountain of dishes in the sink, I vacuumed with a fury! This may sound "un-perfect" and horrible because it's housework, but Morgan and I enjoyed ourselves! He has this cleaning streak... like Kate! Suddenly, Morgan must clean something and off he goes! I find it to be quite useful. I'll come home from a long day at school and find a recently scrubbed bathroom!
"I love you and I appreciate all that you do."
When the carpet was clean, the tile mopped, and every surface clorox-ed, Morgan and I headed out to Little Honda to visit the Ty-Lynn Christmas Tree Farm.
Since the first time my heart was badly broken, I have dreamed of nothing else but owning my own home. This meant buying my own furniture, painting my walls and then repainting them, gardening out back, cooking the family Thanksgiving turkey, and BUYING MY OWN CHRISTMAS TREE!
I have yet to achieve my goal of owning a house, but I do have an apartment I share with my boyfriend and three roommates. And today I got to go out and by my own Christmas tree for the first time.
Ty-Lynn is a family-owned Christmas tree farm in the middle of nowhere (a.k.a. Cullowhee) and sells everything from 5-foot trees to 16-foot trees to handmade wreaths. Morgan and I were searching for something 3-foot or under because of our lack of space in the apartment. Also, we couldn't afford a large Christmas tree and everything else to light and decorate it as well as a tree stand. When I was searching the web for Christmas tree farms, I saw Ty-Lynn had trees "under 5'" so I called to see how under 5-foot they were.
"Well, we have everything pretty much," said the woman. "We even have little Charlie Brown Christmas trees out back behind the barn. They aren't as perfect, you know, have some gaps and holes. They're $10."
"That sounds perfect!" I cried.
She laughed. "Great!"

So off Morgan and I went through the winding roads of Cullowhee. Up, up, up, up the mountain we went, swerving and curving until we began to follow the happy Santa signs to the Christmas tree farm. Quickly, we realized this wasn't just a Christmas tree farm.
First, we passed a pen of llamas and alpacas!
Then, there were trout ponds.
A chicken coop.
A pot-bellied pig.
Ducks.
This place had it all and it was surrounded by acres and acres of land covered in rolling hills of green grass and Christmas trees!
At the barn, we were given the scoop of how things worked: you rode in the 1950 Chevy truck to the trees, picked one out, the crew cut it down and carted it back, you paid, and got your picture taken to put up on the yearly Christmas board and if you could find your picture next year you got 15% off your purchase! There was a bonfire smoking, free apple cider, and a stand to buy a hamburger or hot dog while you waited for the truck to come back for another load of Christmas tree-buyers.
"Actually, we're just interested in the Charlie Brown Christmas trees," I said.
"Oh, they're around back along the wall."
Morgan and I, now separated from the growing group of people waiting on the Chevy to return, walked around the back of the barn where lined up against the wall were the cut tops of several Christmas trees.
"Aww, Morgan, look!" I cried, delighted by our discovery of little, perfect-for-apartment-sized trees.
After much playful debate, we chose our Christmas tree and headed inside to pay.
"Yay you found one!" said the woman at the register. "You know, we used to throw those out but then people started asking for them."
"It's perfect for our apartment," said Morgan, who I was hugging tightly as he balanced our new little tree on its severed trunk.

We brought the tree home after another lovely drive through the mountains, talking about what I wanted in my dream home and how Morgan might get employee-of-the-month for November. Without a tree stand, Morgan took the mop out of the Wal-Mart blue bucket and there our Christmas tree stands... in a Wal-Mart blue mop bucket.
Off to the Dollar Tree where we bought little ornaments: a 12-pack of mini presents, a 12-pack of little drums, and four clay ornaments of a fat happy reindeer, a ball ornament, a stocking, and a sprig of holly. Then, a gold star with lights at Wal-Mart and a string of lights.
I was bouncing with excitement at the thought of decorating my Christmas tree. It was what I always wanted: a little tree in a bucket, some pretty lights, little tacky ornaments, and a loving boyfriend who willfully covered his hands in sap many times today. He wrestled with the star for a long while trying to make it perfectly straight and after sawing off half of the top spine, he did.
"I love you and I appreciate all that you do!"
Then, the lights! The strand we bought not only did have an electric plug-in on both sides, it was also too short. Morgan tried hanging the lights. Then, I tried hanging them. Both times the tree looked retarded with a strand of lights that obviously did not fit our Charlie Brown tree. It was quite discouraging, but we headed back into town were Morgan picked up a new, longer strand of white lights and we got ourselves some Bojangles chicken! It's not a good Sunday without some Bojangles chicken!

After watching Flash of Genius while munching on chicken, we tackled the lights again. Now we had a 25-foot strand of lights to encircle our the uneven, mismatched branches. First, I tried because of Morgan saying I "had the most experience" because I had told him of how "I was the one who lit the tree back at home because I was the only one tall enough to reach the top branches." Well, that didn't go very well. Morgan had to step in, once again getting sap all over his hands which he CANNOT stand, and fixed my slapdash job. It didn't end up being perfect but there was nothing perfect about the tree in the first place. The last thing that was going to happen was two inexperienced Christmas decorators putting on perfectly placed lights, which is already a sucky, difficult job for any professional.
Finally!! I got to decorate my tree with the little ornaments I picked out! I was soooooo excited!!! It was becoming a family Christmas tree now with dangling gold, red, and silver drums, shimmering presents, and the four clay ornaments that looked like Morgan and I had actually sat down and created them ourselves. With Christmas background music from a CD I found in a Corn Chex cereal box years ago, I was creating my own tradition, the tradition I would start as I began to miss out on the family Christmas tree decorating in Charlotte. And to have Morgan there at my side... well, it'd be really nice if that continued to stay part of the tradition.
Finished, I sat down in the rocking chair and Morgan seated himself on my lap. Together, we rocked while staring at the tree as a beautiful opera number began to play on the CD. And it was the perfect end to our perfect day, and my eyes began to tear up because I was so happy to have this as my last day on break before heading back to the stresses of school in the morning. Just him and me rocking in the chair in the darkened living room of my apartment with Sparta purring on the love seat and the lights twinkling on our Charlie Brown Christmas tree in a mop bucket. I looked at Morgan and smiled blissfully, widely, gleefully.
"Merry Christmas, Morgan."
"Merry Christmas, Lexi."

It's a Cliche to be Thankful

It's the first holiday where I'm not in Charlotte. I've never spent a holiday without my family.
On one hand, it's easier. There's less stress because I know I'll get along with Morgan's parents seeing as I've never met them before and we all walk around being polite to each other and saying things like "how did you sleep?" and "that's a lovely skirt you're wearing." It's been hard since my parents split during the holidays. Which parent are you going to spend it with? How many turkeys are you eventually going to end up eating because you have to celebrate in more than one place? There's a lot of stress! And lately, holidays haven't been going smoothly around the house because you're dealing with four girls in one household without any male supervision.
On the other hand, it saddened me for a week or so that I was missing out on my family Thanksgiving: watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in the morning with Anne and pointing out the giant Hello Kitty balloon, laughing at Ma scrambling around the kitchen like a headless turkey herself trying to make everything perfect, settling in for an after-dinner round of Rummy, Kings in a Corner, or Texas Hold 'Em, being the last person awake and dancing about the kitchen in my socks. It hurt I wasn't going to be there. At first, I wasn't going to be there at all, but Morgan and I worked out a plan that we'll be back in Charlotte for tomorrow. At least then we get the leftovers of Ma's turkey and side dishes.

Still, it'll be different. I'll be constantly enthralled with Morgan making sure he's not left out of the conversation and that none of my outspoken family has said something offensive or downright strange! What if he doesn't like my family? Or what if he has to witness some blowout fight when my and Ma's Scorpio stubbornness hits head-to-head? An even better question: Where are we going to sleep? My one and only bed is back home at apartment. That leaves a love seat too short for me and a couch the dog has made into a nest of nastiness with a pull-out mattress of unbelievable harsh springs! Ahh, too many questions!!
Since I have no answers to those questions, I guess this is the time when I tell you what I'm thankful for. But that's such a cliche! I can be thankful anytime I want. In fact, prepare for a blog post in December dedicated to everything I'm thankful for!!! Take that family-tradition-prayer-of-What-I'm-Thankful-For-around-the-dinner-table-before-eating-and-forgetting-what-everyone-was-thankful-for!!!! Aha! Oh if only my sociology professor had been here for that statement.
"Now, Lex, how does that relate to society's views of family?"
Professor, I still don't know!!
Anyway... this post is not about the issues I have with Professor Guinness who was a great teacher and then turned psycho!
This is about Thanksgiving. Though considering it's only 10:25 a.m. there's really not much Thanksgiving to write about yet. I'm mostly online because Morgan was cooking and he's not a great talker when he's cooking because he gets "in the zone" and all serious which is the same how I get with writing... which is why he, currently no longer cooking, is getting ignored in return.
So I'll guess I'll write again after more Thanksgiving has happened. The forecast predicts a slow, easy, relaxed day of walks with Morgan, turkey, snuggling on the couch, and more turkey! Now that's something to be thankful for!!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!!!

No Need for that Much Speed

I have had good luck when it comes to cops. Notice how I said "HAVE HAD good luck."
This past weekend Chris and I headed to Atlanta. Chris was off to see his girl. I was going to visit my dad's twin brother and wife. The trip had already started off with drama. We got lost and went nearly an hour out of our way, crossing into a different state... which by the way is my worst nightmare, being lost and ending up in a state I'm not supposed to be in. Then 20 minutes down the road I see a cop car with its lights on close behind me.

Apparently, I had been driving in a 45 mph zone with NO CLUE! I was going 61 mph!! Explicit bad word here! I never saw a speed limit sign. I'm sure Chris didn't either. The last sign I saw was for 55 mph. Had I been there I would have been fine. But no, I was coming off cruise control going downhill which only made me speed worse and that cop came from NOWHERE!
Now, I have a court date in January or pay probably a $150 fine... which Father will not bail me out of. Father, now when I have a cut paycheck by half for winter break is not the time to practice tough love......!!
The trip continued to go sour when Chris and I hit Atlanta at 5:00 p.m. Have you ever sat in Atlanta traffic at 5 p.m.?!?!?! Because that's basically what you're doing for over an hour: sitting there.

Finally, I dropped Chris off with his girl then had to double back into ATLANTA AGAIN for more traffic before reaching my aunt and uncle's just outside of the city. What was supposed to have been a 3 1/2 hour trip turned into NEARLY 7 HOURS!!!!
We returned on Sunday. Monday was class. Tuesday I jumped into Little Honda and drove three hours to Charlotte where I dropped off Remington, Ma's new little kitten. He's a puffball, people! I mean you can barely see his face from puff!

Remington ^_^

After Charlotte, it was back in the car (once again at 5 pm) to inch through over an hour of Charlotte/Concord traffic to Raleigh to meet up at Morgan's house for Thanksgiving. My head felt like someone was pressing two suction cups against my temples and squeezing. My right kneecap was shaking and my buttocks was numb. Correction: Below my waist was numb! Please dear someone, I never want to get into the driver seat of Little Honda again! In fact, I'd rather not get into a car again!
Hey, everyone in Charlotte, I'll be seeing you guys on Friday when I take another 3-hour drive on Black Friday of all days!! Oh, there's gotta be a blog post after that one!