Heart of Worship

I'm rather shy of this topic because Christianity has a tainted view in today's world. People look at the Bible thumpers and the haters who beat up gays and pregnant women walking into an abortion clinic. They don't look at and respect the Christian who doesn't preach and force their religion on someone else. And so, I've kept my mouth shut...

But today, I was listening to the podcast of Reverend Spargo at Bethlehem Baptist in Gastonia where I used to attend church in high school. And, I've realized I've made a huge mistake in my life in forgetting where I once was in my walk of faith. Finally, things are starting to come together, and I have so many blessings in my life. While that's been going on, I've been ignoring the one whose given me all of those blessings. I've put God on the back burner. Yeah, I read my Bible every night without fail, but it's only a quick passage and usually I'm not focused on what it's talking about. I read it to say that I read it, but that needs to change... now!
I'm tired of making compromises and quietly standing by letting my faith go unnoticed. It's definitely time to change.
As the sermon was coming to a close, I renewed my vows to God. I asked Him to help me change, force me to change, and I want to strengthen my relationship with Him. I want to pray like I mean it and not when it conveniences me or when I need something. I need to build a relationship with Him because we're not just talking about an amazing creator who has greatly blessed my life; we're talking about how to spend eternity.
But, I'm not just doing this because I'm scared of what happens after death... I actually want this, and I think I'm finally old enough now to understand it better.

Now, comes the difficult part. I don't know how Stuart is going to react to this. On several occasions, we've hit a brick wall when it comes to discussing my faith. He's agnostic, and I'm not educated enough on the topic to answer the questions he has about my faith other than to say over and over, "It's what I believe." I wish that were enough for him, but I know I'm not going to change him, and even if I ask nicely, he doesn't want to try out a church service. That may sound like I'm "forcing my religion" on him, but if you ask him, he'll tell you that I rarely ask. I just hope this change doesn't drive a wedge between us.
Now, I must ask for your help because I can't do it alone, and I can't do it without earthly support. I need someone to chastise me for cursing and encourage me to get up Sunday morning for church. Podcasts are great, but you can't get the right kind of fellowship by sitting alone on your bed listening to a podcast.
I've made a lot of decisions in my life that I've either not carried through or gone back on. I'll change for 24 hours then forget or not feel like continuing anymore the next morning. This has to be different!! This has to be real, and I mean it.
So before you all, this is me saying I am a Christian, and I'm going to live my life that way. And if I lose a few of you along the way because that's just not what you're into then I'm sorry... I hope someone else helps you find your way back to the right path.